


Happy Valentine's Day, Shrignold!

by thebatjokesonyou



Category: Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (Webseries)
Genre: An Adorable Family, Based on A House Full of Talking Objects, Coming Out, Crush, Cute gays, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay dads, I just wanted to do some gay cuteness, M/M, Padlock (mentioned), The fluffiest fluff, Two couples in one day?, mild homophobia, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 04:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13697133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebatjokesonyou/pseuds/thebatjokesonyou
Summary: Shrignold has to bring love to everyone in the Don't Hug Me Household by using the power of decoration, planning and food preperation! But when Robin and Harry are missing, his yearly festivities come to a screeching halt. Can this year somehow turn out better than the last four?





	Happy Valentine's Day, Shrignold!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi! This was made for the gal who runs the Tumblr Ask Blog, A House Full of Talking Objects as a lil Valentines gift and I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm a lil obsessed with the cuties. This takes place in the AU where everyone is sorta stuck living together and they slowly become an adorable family. 
> 
> Names for clarification!  
> Harry - Red Guy  
> Robin - Duck Guy  
> Doi - Yellow Guy  
> Sketch - Creative Teacher  
> Tony - Time Teacher  
> Shrignold - Love Teacher  
> Collin - Technology Teacher  
> Stacey - Spinach Can (Health Teacher)  
> Stanley - Meat man (Health Teacher)  
> Larry - Dream Teacher

February 14th. 

A dreaded day for almost all in the Scared Household. 

Every February 13th night to early February 14th day, there would be a blur of a figure buzzing around the home. Fliers strung, decorations hung, paper hearts taped to walls, romantic pictures hung on walls. Foil covered, heart shaped chocolates were placed around the home in small baskets and notes were taped to the bottom of them reading mushy phrases such as, "You're the sweetest thing I've never tasted, I'd love to change that~" and "Hey honey, you're one cute bunny!" and other horrible, horrible phrases. 

After the wee hours of the morning, when there was some sunlight in the home, immediately, there was a sound of someone cooking a meal. Not just any meal, a deceptively mouth watering one, an aroma that had to be actively resisted. The vanilla and cinnamon french toast bread, the sizzling, crispy bacon, the soft and buttery eggs over hard, not one article of those tempting, tempting foods could be touched. 

As such, every year, Shrignold would end up waking the food gang in his festivities. It's at this point you might be saying, "Why'd you just reveal it was Shrignold when you kept it anonymous the whole time?" and the narrator would respond in a bitter, irritated tone, "WHO ELSE WOULD IT HAVE BEEN, THE EASTER BUNNY?!" and then calmly continue the story. 

Stacey and Stanley would both wake up (Stacey from her top cabinet and Stanley from the corner of the kitchen) and find themselves face to face with a determined, cooking preacher. 

"Good morning and Happy Valentines Day!" Shrignold sang (just as he did every year), setting down both of their plates onto the counter. "I've made your breakfasts, so don't worry about any of that! I'm sure you know you've got a whole day of activities to look forward to so please, dig in!" 

Both of the pair groaned softly, grabbing the utensils from the plate and eating as they were told. They'd both learned from the past to just go along with this horrible holiday's tradition. 

The others weren't so keen on enjoying their day of torture. 

Tony plopped down the stairs with an irritated sigh, looking all around at the disgusting reds and pinks, pinching the space between his eyes. "Do we need to do this blasted mess every single year?" It had been 4 years and already, the clock was beyond sick of this. 

"Until you've all found romance, I've taken it upon myself to create the best case scenario possible, assuring that you all have your partners to get married to!" Shrignold chimed, zipping over a coffee with three sugars and some irish cream, taking his bow and adjusting it. "There you go! I'm sure Sketch will love it!" 

Tony bit back a growl, the grip on the mug in his hand nearly breaking the porcelain. "She and I are taking a break right now. This stupid celebration is the last thing either of us need. Me especially." He used his free thumb to point to himself before taking a long sip of the coffee. "You're lucky that this coffee tastes good or I'd have yelled at you longer. Besides, I don't have time for this."

"Your plate's in front of your name tag~!" Shrignold spun around, grabbing a tray and zipping upstairs, passing an equally annoyed Sketch and Collin. "Happy Valentine's Day~!"

"Actually die, please." Collin hissed, still hopping downstairs to get himself up before the butterfly sang him a song to force him to go as he'd done last year. That was quite possibly the worst thing he had ever experienced. 

The lovebug set the tray down on an empty table he'd made sure was clear last night, opening the door belonging to the students before he got the tray again, flying right inside. "Happy Valentine's Day~!" Shrignold cheered, his bright and happy smile suddenly gone when he noticed two beds were empty and only a sleeping Doi remained. 

"Mmm..." Doi sat up with a yawn, rubbing his eye and looking at Shrignold. "Is it Valentine's Day again?" He stretched his back, having finally gotten used to living with these teachers and was especially relaxed knowing today would be lesson free for him. Shrignold basically did everything he could to keep him out of the "romantic environments" so he wouldn't "ruin the mood". That was fine by him. 

Shrignold looked flabbergasted, setting the tray down on Robin's bed before checking the room for any evidence of where they'd gone or when they'd left. "Wh-Where's the other two?" He even tried the window, checking around it to see if they'd climbed out of the house. "I have two potential spouses to introduce to them!" 

"They're in the guest room next door. They said they wanted to watch a scary movie last night and I was already so sleepy, I was okay." Doi explained, picking up his plate and going to his bed. "Thank you very much for the food!" 

Shrignold immediately picked up his tray, setting it down onto the table outside before he tried to open the door, frowning when he realized it was locked. It was the only room that couldn't be accessed through a window and while Shrignold could knock the door down, he knew Robin and Harry would be pretty upset. So, the preacher gave a tentative knock. "Hello? Is anyone awake in there?" 

For a good minute there was silence. It was only broken by a bubbly giggle, followed by the sound of shushing and more laughter. "Shhh!!! Someone will hear, shhh!" 

That didn't sound like Harry or Robin. Whoever this was had to be in a very good mood because they couldn't stop their snickers. Shrignold tried again, hoping someone would respond. "Come now, I've got breakfast all ready for anyone who would like to eat! The others have found it to be very delicious!" 

"Go awaaaay! GWAH-AH-HA-HARRY, DON'T TICKLE ME!" There was a loud squawk and snorts, more laughter following suit. 

Shrignold found himself corrected. That was Robin, he just was in a really good mood because Harry was...tickling him. He blinked a few times, trying to think of the right way to go about this. Perhaps he could put the food closer to the door? Spoil their surprise dates he'd planned? Knock the door d- 

"Mmmm, Harry~ 'S too early!" Robin's voice was quieter than before but if anyone was next to the door, it could be heard. "Oh, n-no, that's just cheating! Ooooohhh, right behind the wings's too much!" It sounded more like moans than coherent words at this point. 

What sounded to be a purr, the kind of rumble you'd expect from a tiger came from the door, along with the familiar sound of shifting sheets and blankets. "I told you to be quiet, Robin. If you can't do that, I'll just have to make sure that next time I tell you to hush, you will~" There was no mistaking Harry's voice, even if it was much huskier and heavier than usual. 

Shrignold put two and two together faster than he ever had in his entire life, his face practically lit up by his blush as he slowly fluttered himself back downstairs, his hand on his mouth to hold in the scream that desperately wanted to burst out of him. 

"Here we-what the heck?" Sketch was ready to start complaining when she noticed Shrignold's expression. "What's gotten into you?" She pointed her fork at the lovebug in an inquisitive manner, not used to him dropping a smile for a second on his favorite holiday. 

"I..." Shrignold was flabbergasted, sitting at the table with an absolutely blown away expression. "They...I got them dates and they..." He looked like he'd seen an accident of some kind. 

Larry finally moseyed his way down the stairs, stretching as he went for his designated name tag. He wasn't a fan of all this but the lamp honestly couldn't complain too much about good, free food. It had made it all the more jarring to realize everyone was silent. "Uh, what's going on?" 

Tony took another long sip of his coffee. "I'm not sure. It looks as though something's broken him. It's a shame. I was really looking forward to lunch today." He shrugged dismissively. Even if it meant being forcefully sat with Sketch outside, once again, the yummies were worth it all. 

That didn't sound good. "Buggy bug?" Larry turned to him, already wincing at his wide eyes and shocked face. "You, uh, wanna tell us some tips on finding a partner or something? Get some more chocolates? Play a 20 que-" 

"THEY'RE GAY!" Shrignold suddenly announced in a shout, his hands gripping his hair as if he'd said the world was ending. "THEY LET ME MAKE THEM BREAKFAST FOR FOUR YEARS AND-AND THEY /SINNED/ IN RETURN!" 

Across the table, Sketch and Stanley cursed out loud, Tony and Stacey wearing smug smirks. 

"That'll be coffee for a week for me and what did you ask for, Stacey?" Tony turned to his partner in crime (and crime alone), shifting his shoulders to add some flair. 

"One apology for trying to paint my leaves yellow and a promise to never do it again!" Stacey supplied with ease, just as eager to have won the bet as him. 

Shrignold let out the kind of wheeze that people make with their dying breath. "YOU KNEW?! BOTH OF YOU WERE THERE WHEN WE MADE THAT FAKE PROFILE!"

"From my observations, there was a 65% chance they were right!" Collin helpfully supplied, his arrow hand up to add some professional emphasis. "And that was only from last week! There was a 20% increase from the movements and actions I saw but you never asked!" 

"Wait, what did they do? I didn't see!" Sketch whined, hopping closer to the computer for more information on all of this. 

While the others scrambled to get closer to Collin and see pictures and data he'd produced, Larry kept his eye on Shrignold, frowning some at how broken he was over this. "Sh...Shriggy, it's not the end of the world, is it?" 

"But, their special ones! They'll never be able to join the church of Malcolm if they're each others Special Ones!" Shrignold protested, hoping that someone, anyone would see reason. 

Larry reached over and took his hands off of his head, holding them. "Buggy bug, they gotta decide that on their own. I know you wanna help them but if they like each other, they like each other. That's what they chose. It wasn't to be mean to you, you just...when you fall in love, you don't really have any control over it." One of the stars on his design went from white to pink, his eyes averting Shrignold's. 

Shrignold shook his head but didn't slip his hands out of Larry's grasp. "I just think they'd be much better matched with the people I chose for them! Those ladies seem much better than them choosing each other! They're not even the same species!" He tried again to make Larry see his point, holding on to whatever he could. 

"Why do ya wanna choose for them so much? You said they were gay, that sounds like you get that they at least don't have a choice on how they feel about women." Larry met Shrignold's gaze again, giving his response with much more bite than he meant it to have. 

Shrignold's face went purple and he stared down at the floor. "I...I just thought...it would be better to give them people I found were perfect for them. I know you all won't join the church but e-even if you don't, I wanted everyone to be with their Special Ones on Valentines Day. It...it's not like..." He whispered his last sentence, both his antennae curling up. "I ever will..."

Larry felt his whole stomach drop when he saw how sad Shrignold looked, immediately setting his jaw and squeezing his hands. "Don't you ever say that. You deserve to have a Special One if that's what you want. No one's saying you can't." 

"B-But, no one likes me!" Shrignold shook his head, still unable to meet Larry's eyes. 

"I like you!" Larry shouted without even thinking, sucking in a breath harshly when he realized what he'd confessed. 

Shrignold froze. His blush went to his ears and slowly, he guided his stare from the floor to the mortified lamp in front of him. "You...you mean that? You...really like me?" 

Larry wanted to let Shrignold's hands go and teleport five miles away from here but instead, he nodded quickly, the weight of Shrignold's hands now feeling a lot more real. "I have. For a long time, now. I thought maybe it would go away but sometimes, when you smile, my lightbulb starts burning so bright I could light up the whole house." 

"Larry..." Shrignold felt breathless, his wings fluttering quicker with his heart. "I...I like you too. I wanted to say something but e-even if the church frowns on it, I was more worried that you would call me a freak or something." He allowed himself to drift closer towards the lamp, his whole body feeling heated from his hands. 

Larry tsked softly, one of his hands going to Shrignold's cheek. "Stop that, buggy bug. You're not a freak. You're really cute and it's not fair to be so mean yourself. You wouldn't want me to say that about myself, would you?" 

Shrignold practically melted at the contact but just managed to focus enough to shake his head. "No, I wouldn't. I won't...I won't do that anymore. Especially since if you think I'm cute because then, I have to be." He cracked a smile, both his cheeks aflame at this point. 

Larry's entire body gave off a large pink glow, as if to confirm his earlier words. He was about to apologize, when he was swiftly interrupted. 

"AWWWW!" 

The new couple quickly turned to the rest of the table, now realizing they'd done and said all of that in front of the others. 

"Shhh, Stacey, you're ruining the mood!" Sketch hissed at her, her hand lightly hitting the side of the can. 

"To be fair, I don't think there is much of a mood anymore." Tony pointed to the embarrassed duo in front of them. "But the bubble was bound to burst eventually." 

Shrignold found himself hugging onto Larry and burying his head in his shoulder. "Take me to your room, please." He mumbled, trying to keep most of his face hidden from the others. 

Larry beamed, his hands wrapped around Shrignold's body. "The Valentine's Day festivities have been postponed till next year! Have fun doing what you want, we're not available until February 15th! Bye!" He then did a little pivot and went up the stairs with a skip in his step, heading back to his room. 

•••

A groggy Harry and Robin came downstairs 5 hours later, thoroughly surprised to see Doi and the others playing a board game. 

"Hey, where is Shrignold? And Larry for that matter?" Robin counted everyone again, his feathers still ruffled and his voice sounded tired. 

"Upstairs." Everyone but Doi responded right away, Sketch throwing her dice after she spoke. 

Harry looked surprised but he shrugged after a moment, sitting on the couch and helping Robin to sit down as well. "I'll get you some water and aspirin in a moment." He promised, now watching them play. 

"Ah, no, I'll do it." Stanley got up, heading over to the kitchen. "You two just stay where you are. It is Valentines Day after all, least we can do is let you guys spend time with each other." 

"What?" Harry blinked several times, not sure if he'd heard the other correctly. 

"Shrignold tried to give you breakfast but you were most likely still enjoying your festivities in the guest room and were too occupied to notice." Collin clarified for them. "He told us everything. Congratulations." 

Robin's whole face was going red, the blush visible from his cheeks. "That wasn't a dream? Oh my God..." 

Harry shrugged again, wrapping his arm around Robin's waist. "They would have figured it out anyways. We already told Doi." 

"Did everyone but me get some sort of memo in the mail?!" Sketch threw her hands up, honestly upset that she'd missed an opportunity to be able to paint Stacey. 

Upstairs, Larry and Shrignold sat snuggled up in bed, watching the horror movie Robin and Harry had enjoyed last night. 

"Happy Valentines Day, buggy bug." Larry stroked through his hair, watching Shrignold relax and curl into his touch. 

"Happy Valentines Day to you too, dreamy." Shrignold crooned, genuinely surprised when his head was tilted up and he was given a kiss on the nose. "Larry! We just started dating!" 

"Sorry~" Larry lied with a grin on his face. "But how was I supposed to help myself after you called me dreamy?" 

"I wasn't saying that." Shrignold huffed, sitting up in bed as he gave Larry a short kiss on his lips. "I was saying that you might as well really kiss me if we-" 

Larry cut him off with about 50 kisses and every time Shrignold tried to speak, Larry just kissed him again. Happy Valentines Day indeed. 

End ♥︎

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to commission me for a fic like this or anything else I've written, you can totally contact me through my Instagram @hypnotichetalia or you can just buy me a coffee! (https://ko-fi.com/R5R4JH14#)


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